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Current Events Spread, or the Cynic Cross

for use with the PoMo Tarot set

This spread uses five cards, which makes it precisely half as tedious as the Celtic Cross. Lay out the cards, face down, in the following order:

1 - top - The Highbrows: snobby ivory-tower elitists and pompous pundits

2 - left - The Left Wing: bleeding-hearted socialistic godless degenerates

3 - right - The Right Wing: reactionary rednecked Bible-thumping stuffed shirts

4 - bottom - The Lowbrows: illiterate apathetic overweight couch potatoes

5 - center - The Joke's On You: the theme, the twisted rejoinder, the double entendre, the conversation-stopping bon mot, the glockenspiel (what? um, sorry, I guess I've been spending too much time with the book).

(3 may be layed out before 2, depending on your political persuasion or mood.)

Turn the cards over in reverse order, but saving the center card (5) for last. The cards may indicate either how the designated group views the matter, or the role they have in it; in the postmodern world, these are pretty much the same thing anyway. The center card is, of course, the overall theme of the reading.

It is recommended to not use reversals, but to draw on both upright and reversed meanings when interpreting the spread. If we knew which way was up, we wouldn't need to do a current events reading to begin with, right?